🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into preserved goods and firearms.” That bit of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, speaking, bespectacled member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s merely an investment tip from one monster to another. But, curiously, it’s also remarkably sound existential counsel. Truly, listen to my reasoning.

When things go bad, the most counterproductive action you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Actually, most of the fang-bearing creatures that inhabit Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and pure pandemonium. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that resonates the most.

An Early Life Fixation

Understandably, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and featuring snarling creatures on its knackered cover. I was right away smitten and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my small, malleable brain. From then on, they became an near-everyday part of my childhood viewing routine.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the accolades, thanks mostly because of its status as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. However, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d lock myself inside and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it etched itself permanently in my mindset. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Hidden Discoveries and Societal Easter Eggs

As I got older, new insights enhanced multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his former spouse Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was modeled after a actual “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film alternate cuts of a self-referential segment where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each providing a grinning portion of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy ahead of its time.

A Persistent Legacy

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this subsurface richness maintained my fascination as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no qualms revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of poking fun at those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This cartoonish rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Maybe not. The nostalgic calm it provided was necessary to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just cannot manage. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, put everything you’ve got into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my feelgood film.